Often we get stuck in our negative emotions and hooked into our storylines. We end up repeatedly feeling angry, sad or another destructive emotion. We carry this negativity with us and it colours our lives. Spiritual authors, Pema Chrodron, Byron Katie and Eckart Tolle, believe that the answer to life's suffering is learning to become present. Presence is the ability to stay focused on what is happening now. These authors offer wisdom on becoming present and techniques to shift negative thinking.
Learn to Stay
Pema Chodron, an American Buddhist and author of Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears, advises us to face our negative emotions by sitting with them. She says, "The message here is that the only way to ease our pain is to experience it fully. Learn to stay. Learn to stay with the uneasiness, learn to stay with the tightening..." (2009, p. 28). When you are being pulled by a current of emotion, Chodron recommends just sitting with it instead of reacting habitually. If you feel anxious, stay with the breath. If you react and reject your experience in the moment, you will suffer from unhappiness.
Meditation is a one practice for staying present with your thoughts and emotions. If you would like to learn more about Chodron's meditation approach, you can check out the Pema Chodron Foundation at http://pemachodronfoundation.org/. Another practice that Chodron recommends for changing difficult emotions is Tonglen. In this practice, you breath in and think about all the suffering in the world. On the out breath, you breath out compassion for yourself and others who are suffering. This practice is designed to teach you freedom from pain through acceptance of suffering.
Power of Now
Eckart Tolle, author of The New Earth, believes that the voice in our head, our ego, is the root cause of suffering. Complusive thinking and negative emotions cause unhappiness. Tolle states that, "The voice in the head has a life of its own. Most people are at the mercy of that voice; they are possessed by thought, by the mind" (Tolle, 2005, p. 129). Part of this burden is that we carry the past with us. Tolle calls this the pain-body; the unresolved negative emotional energy of the past. The error most people make is believing that the pain-body and ego speak the truth.
Tolle believes that the cure for the ego and the pain-body is to become present. Presence is our true self. According to Tolle, "Knowing yourself is to be rooted in Being, instead of being lost in your mind" (2005, p.186). Tolle's recipe for peace is to learn to become present in every moment. One technique for achieving this is finding activities that draw you into the moment and filling your day with them. As your thoughts become less important, a stillness occurs in your mind and body.
Is This Thought True?
Byron Katie came to discover the end of suffering through her own personal struggles. After almost a decade of personal turmoil, she realized that when she believed her thoughts, she became unhappy. Conversely when she detached from her thinking, she found happiness. She states in her book, A Thousand Names for Joy, "As you inquire into your own thoughts, you discover how attachment to a belief or story causes suffering." (2007, p. 1). As soon as we believe a thought, the peace of our minds is disturbed. Furthermore, Byron Katie states, "The world is the mirror image of your mind" (2007, p. 4). Basically, if you believe the world is a frightening place, you will experience fear. Your mind creates your reality.
Byron Katie has developed four questions, she calls "The Work" to help challenge negative thinking.
As you reflect on your thinking, ask yourself these questions:
1. Is it true? (your thoughts)
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?
These questions help you experience the opposite to what your thinking and to become open to multiple possibilities. There is no "good" or "bad" experience. Byron Katie emphasizes acceptance of life as is. Instead of moving against the river of life, let yourself flow in the present.
Presence creates harmony within. Instead of believing negative thoughts, one becomes centered in the moment. Peace is found in the silence of a still mind.
Sources:
Byron, Katie (2007). A Thousand Names for Joy. Harmony Books: USA.
Chodron, Pema. (2009). Taking the Leap: Freeing Ourselves from Old Habits and Fears. Shambhala Publications: Boston, MA.
Tolle, Eckart (2005). A New Earth: Awakening to your LIfe's Purpose. Plume (division of Penguin Books LTD): London, England.
Meegan Simpson-Cooke - I live with my partner and step-children on the West Coast. My passion is reading about spirituality, particularly Buddhism. I write about ...
